PG 18

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

心.语


# 有時候,希望時間為自己停下,做完己還沒來得及做的事情。
有時候,想一個人躲起來脆弱,不願別人看到自己的傷口。

有時候,突然很想哭,卻難過的哭不出來。
有時候,夜深人靜,突然覺得不是睡不著,而是固執地不想睡。
有時候,走過熟悉的街角,看到熟悉的背影,突然就想起一個人的臉​。
有時候,心裡突然冒出一種厭倦的情緒,覺得自己很累很累。

有時候,覺得自己擁有著整個世界,一瞬間卻又覺得自己其實一無所​有。
有时候,真的只是有時候,明明自己身邊很多朋友,卻依然覺得孤單​。

有時候,很想放縱自己,希望自己痛痛快快歇斯底裡地發一次瘋。
有時候,突然找不到自己,把自己丟的無影無蹤。

有時候,明明自己心裡有很多話要說,卻不知道怎樣表達。#

Monday, July 25, 2011

Bravo, Panda Mummy!!



成都19歲高齡大熊貓生女

成都一隻19歲高齡大熊貓誕下寶寶,母女平安。這是2011年成都大熊貓基地誕生的首隻大熊貓。

成都大熊貓繁育研究基地指出,該基地19歲大熊貓「莉莉」24日順利娩下一隻雌性寶寶,寶寶初生體重161克。目前母女平安,健康狀況良好。

據悉,「莉莉」現年19歲,在大熊貓當中屬高齡「產婦」。

今年3月在自然交配失敗後,專家們採集海歸大熊貓的精液,為「莉莉」做了人工授精。

7月24日14時51分,伴隨著一聲非常響亮的叫聲,寶寶誕生。還沒等寶寶掉到地上,「莉莉」就非常老練地將牠抱到了自己懷裏,表現出強烈的母性。

(香港明報)

Demi Lovato - Skyscraper


Skies are crying,
I am watching,
Catching teardrops in my hands.
Only silence, as it's ending,
Like we never had a chance.
Do you have to make me feel
Like there's nothing left of me?

You can take everything I have,
You can break everything I am,
Like I'm made of glass,
Like I'm made of paper.
Go on and try to tear me down.
I will be rising from the ground,
Like a skyscraper,
Like a skyscraper.

As the smoke clears,
I awaken,
And untangle you from me.
Would it make you feel better
To watch me, while I bleed?
All my windows still are broken,
But I'm standing on my feet.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/d/demi_lovato/skyscraper.html ]
You can take everything I have,
You can break everything I am,
Like I'm made of glass,
Like I'm made of paper.
Go on and try to tear me down.
I will be rising from the ground,
Like a skyscraper,
Like a skyscraper.

Go run, run, run.
I'm gonna stay right here,
Watch you disappear.
Yeah, ohh.
Go run, run, run.
Yeah, it's a long way down,
But I am closer to the clouds,
Up here.

You can take everything I have,
You can break everything I am,
Like I'm made of glass,
Like I'm made of paper.

Ohhh

Go on and try to tear me down.
I will be rising from the ground,
Like a skyscraper,
Like a skyscraper.
(Like a skyscraper)
Like a skyscraper,
Like a skyscraper.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

一個人臉上太多的笑是因為心裡有太多的痛



總有一些人, 他們看上去整天都很開心, 嘻嘻哈哈的, 沒有煩惱, 像個小孩, 他們會說玩是我最大的樂趣, 我很喜歡玩, 我什麼都會玩人多的時候他們臉上總掛著笑容, 好多人都會羨慕他們, 然而這其實是他們最悲哀的地方, 他們不想讓別人看到自己難過的一面, 更沒有能力一個人獨處, 因為當夜深人靜的時候, 他不知道一個人會發生什麼事, 坐在窗前冥想走過的點滴 沒有人讀的懂他們, 想著想著貌似快樂的他們就會黯然流下一臉的悲傷, 然後自己對自己說: 「其實也沒什麼,命運吧!」 所以他們就整天逼自
己笑, 以此來逃避那些常人所不能不承受的痛苦! 他們貌似很堅強, 因為在別人看來, 他們什麼事都能微笑著去面對, 但事實上他們長著世界上最脆弱的心靈, 只是長期的偽裝使得別人很難發現他們內心深處的創傷。

他們其實非常孤獨, 雖然看到他們時都是在跟一群人談天說地, 那是因為他們實在不能承受一個人時的折磨! 他們只想簡簡單單、快快樂樂的活著, 期待並且相信每個人給的笑容都是真心的, 希望身邊的人都是真正的喜歡自己。 即使別人小小的意見, 也會另他們難過好久, 他們真的真的很介意, 介意自己不被人喜歡。 因為,他們總是為別人想的很多, 對別人總是比對自己好; 把能對喜歡的人好當做幸福, 喜歡別人比喜歡自己多。 他們總是那樣, 前一秒還傷心的流著淚, 後一秒出現在朋友面前的時候, 已經滿臉溢著燦爛的笑容。 有人說他們是向日葵,是的, 他們在意的人就像是太陽, 在面對太陽的時候永遠是明艷的花瓣, 而太陽照不到的背面,那悲傷藏得那麼好, 不願被看見。

他們嚮往放縱自由的生活, 卻必須為了誰很努力的朝另外的一個方向活著, 很累很累,卻仍是心甘情願。 離自己的夢境越來越來遠, 不得不面對從未想過的爭奪和複雜, 恐慌、不知所措。 只有面對最信賴的人時, 才會卸下盔甲,委屈的流下眼淚。 因為在他們心裡,笑就是開心, 哭就是難過,接近就是喜歡,遠離就是討厭。 但其實不是,他們明白了,心好傷,眼淚就沒忍住。 哭過之後,笑笑得擦乾眼淚,說,沒關係,我可以做的很好的。 他們好像無所不能, 好像總是不會有煩惱, 好像什麼問題都能輕而易舉的解決, 總是喜歡喜歡出現在流淚的人面前, 笑嘻嘻的逗著笑。 而面對自己的問題, 他們卻茫然無措,面對自己的悲傷, 他們只會躲在人們看不見的角落裡慢慢由傷口越裂越大。

他們的想法非常簡單,說出來的就是心裡所想的, 肚子裡不會拐七道八道的小彎, 無心的話可能會引起別人的誤解。 所以,請別記恨他們, 他們從不願傷害誰,小小的錯誤就能讓他們懊悔很久。 他們其實非常單純, 甚至你曾經給了他一個微笑他也會一輩子記得你的好, 因此他們的世界觀其實也很簡單, 他們很容易受蠱惑, 請不要輕易的傷害他們的感情, 因為一旦傷害了, 那就將永遠彌補不回來。 如果你身邊有這種人請你給予他(她), 那怕是鳳毛麟角的那點關懷,讓他(她)知道這個世界沒有拋棄他們​。 哭得笑了,笑得麻木了,傷得痛了,痛得也麻木了。 以前的命運可能已經注定,以後的命運相信能走出自己的路。

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Hedgehogs in disguise



You will see how ridiculous human can be when they disguised themselves as hedgehogs and started stomping .

Thanks for making me feel myself much more better than you.

The art of speaking, is something essential, yet less learnt.

Sad case.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

$$$MONEY$$$


"It’s about the money, money, money…All I care is money, money, money…”-----Prais Teg ==

Living in KL is more or less like living in Penang Island, urbanised. RM430 is restrictive. I counted roughly on my monthly expenses.

Breakfast - in room,bought breads, tuna, milo et cetera for a month’s supply…(RM40)

Lunch and dinner - RM5 each = RM10 per day. One month…(RM300) Only for MY STOMACH. @_@

Clothes - I’m lazy to hand wash my clothes so I’m fully utilizing the facility provided, washing machine, twice a week, RM3(once) x 2 = RM6. Four weeks a month…(RM24)

Hostel FeeIt’s free for Foundation year, but you have to pay RM40 per month in degree. However, your allowance will increase, of course, when you’re in Degree, so RM40 is not going to be a burden.

Entertainment :
Broadband
The bill will be sent to my hometown so…I’m not the one paying :P

Hang OutsI allow myself to go shopping malls twice a month. RM30 per outing x 2…(RM60) It’s not too much, right?



Conclusion :

RM40 + RM300 + RM24 + RM60 = RM424

I still have RM6 left for saving! xD

Wise, eh?

First 2 weeks in IPBA

This is a long article for those who’s interested in life in IPBA and a reference for 2nd intakes and my juniors from end-of-the-world(2012). Lol, sampat. Okay, time for the WH questions.

Where am I?

KaiLan(from the word Taiwan, but sounds like vulgarity ==)

What am I doing here?

Trained to be a teacher. OMG, I still can’t believe it.

What course am I taking?

TESL. (Teaching English as Second Language)

What are the subjects?

Please refer to the next article.

For how many years?

5 and a half years.

Do I like it here?

Pretty much, in fact, super enjoy my life here, for now. Who knows I might get sick of KL after 5 and a half years here. Haha.

Why do you like it so much?

Umm, 100% freedom and independence? Haha, basically because I’m still in Foundation year and workload isn’t burdening yet AND they have a not-standardised basketball court! (the court used to be in the gym, under-roofed, but the gym is closed now for some investigation)


Days of You Zi(游子)

Day 1

First day of orientation week, first day in IPBA. Miserable.

Arrived at KL one day before, but on 20th morning in the hotel, vomitted 7 times in total from 4am until 11am. Too nervous? No way. I's damn excited. Food poisoning? Nope. Then what? Gastric =/ It's my third time having gastric since last year end. (To someone, if you read this please don’t scold me for getting gastric again =_=)

Ladies and gentlemen, adik-adik dan future-juniors, boys and girls, when it's meal time, EAT. At least a cup of milo even if you're not hungry. Having gastric at the age of 16 is not abnormal, but still the case is rare and it shows that you can't take care of your own. Missed all the fun games and interactions between mates and seniors on first day. However, at the same time, i skipped being scolded by seniors.

The committees of Orientation Week Ambilan Jun 2011 gave every new intake a whole piece of biscuit, known as ''amanah'. Some people ate the biscuit and they're punished by hanging a piece of manila card with their names on it around the neck and that they have to put it on until orientation week ends. I was lucky to be absent on the first day and the 'disciplinary master' gave me a bottle of water as my 'amanah'. That's so much easier to keep my 'amanah' in good shape, haha.

Day 2

Woke up at 4.30am for Sesi Moral while Muslims went for Solat Subuh. All the non-Muslims gathered to have games and sharing moments. From there as well, I counted there's a total of 15 Chinese in my batch, 5 guys, out of 141(I think) freshmen. I heard there will be second intake and some of them are from Afghanistan. 0.0 We had 4 meals a day since we paid RM500 for the orientation week. Every night, we had another Sesi Moral before the last activity. According to the timetable given, our last activity should end at 11.30pm but the 'disciplinary master'(why in quotations? because his post is supposed to be Ketua Asrama dan Kediaman) definitely had got something to scold/lecture before allowing us to go back to our dorms. It's around 12am by the time we dismissed. Tired.

Day 3

Same route every morning, woke up around 4.30am for Sesi Moral(roughly count how many hours of sleep we had). This is the most boring day. We had 6 taklimats in a row with 2 breaks in between. Ah, then it's Riadah. It's basically a simple exercise in the field, running, jumping, warming up et cetera. We had Riadah on the second day as well. And again, after the last-but-actually-not-last activity, we had lectures and scoldings from the committees again before we go to.....not bed, but SURAU for sharing moments by the seniors. It's for girls only, the boys went back to their dorms to sleep because they had stayed up all night on day 2 for the same activity while we did it only today. Thank God they didn’t make us stayed up all night, we went back to sleep around 3am. The seniors here are very helpful and they share a lot of useful tips, like transports to shopping malls and food stalls, how much should the charges be because cases of students being scammed by taxi drivers are not uncommon since they’re from all around Malaysia, academic information and… haunted cases. == I hate that.

Day 4

Again, alarm clock woke us up at 4.30am for Sesi Moral. Today, we met our mentor, En. Syed Jaha. He looks fatherly and he’s not old like usually mentors will be. After the very last-but-again-not-last-though-it’s-stated-so-in-the-timetable Majlis Perasmian Penutupan MPPB, the ‘disciplinary master’ started scolding again. He summoned two Malay girls and a Chinese boy up to stage and scolded them in front of everybody. The atmosphere was intense and everyone sat up straight to ponder over the situation. All of a sudden, the lights were turned off, and the committees of Orientation Week/the seniors sang Happy Birthday song together. It happened to be a fraud by the committees, a surprise birthday ‘celebration’ for June babies. Of course, the ‘disciplinary master’ who scolded the most got boo-ed.

Day 5

I forgot what happened. =o

Day 6

SUNWAY PYRAMID!!! First outing in KL. My one-year-elder seniors go out every weekend to buy necessary stuffs and breathe in fresh air out of IPBA, but I think I won’t….$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ T_T Oh, and our Chinese gang(prior notice : we’re not racists :D but we formed an Aunty Club so it’s basically for members only xD) planned to have an outing behind/beside Sunway Pyramid. Know where? Nyahaha, what else, SUNWAY LAGOOOOOOOON.Umm, but I guess it will forever be a planning because we can hardly get holidays where everyone stays in KL and not going back to hometown. =/ However, 5 and a half years is a long long time, I don’t believe we won’t get to go, wheeeee.

Day 7

Umm, this part of memory lost, too.

Day 8

Monday. First day of lesson. Met our lecturers and fished in class due to habit and boring stereotyped introduction of the subjects. Canteen………*unspeakable*, the foods simply don’t suit me, because it’s 95.59% spicy.

Day 9

Tuesday. Confusion of subjects and first day of basketball!!!!

I followed a senior from far because I didn’t know how to go to the basketball court, he was holding a basketball in his arm. After walking around almost half of IPBA, he sat down in front of the library staircase and drank 100plus. == I hid behind a car to wait until he got up and finally head to the court. After 1 minute of waiting, I’s already soaked in sweat, so I walked to him and asked for direction. His expression was like 0-0 this girl was following me, and he pointed a direction. GUAN LAI, the court is just IN FRONT OF the hostel next to mine. zzzzZZZZZ. No wonder he showed a knowing face that I’s following him.*embarrassed*

(p/s: He’s so kind to lend me his basketball and even overnight! His block is just next to mine though. Owh, he’s into hockey and futsal as well. Hmmph, boys.)

Day 10

Wednesday. Skip the boring part in class. 2nd day of basketball!! That senior wasn’t around but I borrowed his ball. There’s 2 Chinese guy and 2 Malay girls, the rest are Malay guys. None of them are of my batch. In fact, I haven’t met anyone from my batch, not even boys, who’s interested in basketball yet. =( Owh, there’s a tall macho look-like-Chinese-but-he’s-actually-Malay guy playing with us. One of the Malay seniors told me he’s a junior lecturer, that explains his figure and imposing manner. He kinda orders people before starting a match, like dividing into groups and allocation of responsibilities. Psst, the game is not entirely following the rules, sometimes we’re allowed to have fouls, and sometimes we’re given penalty.

Day 11

Thursday. 3rd day of basketball. COOOOOOOOL. Why? Because one of them underestimated me, I grabbed his ball and scored. Muahahaha. I just LOVE basketball. Of course, I won’t play if there’s no girl in the match.

Day 12

Friday. Yay, muscle tear. So I skipped the preparation for Larian 1 Malaysia.

Day 13

Saturday. 2.4km Larian 1 Malaysia. I’m the first Chinese girls to reach the finishing line! Overall, including boys, I’m around no.4! Muahahaha. (okay, I know many preferred to walk than run, but I outran some who ran hard lo ><) :P After larian, we had sports in the field. Frisbee, Futsal, Hockey, Badminton, Netball and bola baling(I have no idea what it is, but it looks like the Monkey game we used to play when we’re little.) WTH this institute have basketball court but they don’t have basketball club?! Super duper EMO. I think I’ll choose badminton for koko.

Day 14

Sunday, today. The girls went to Amcorp. YERRRRR, I SHOULD’VE JOINED THEM. BOOKXCESS STOREWIDE 70% DISCOUNT!! Too bad I have to stay in hostel for my bro to send me things from Penang. (Wheeeeeeee! I’m going to have my own basketball in IPBA today! ^v^)


That’s the first two weeks of IPBA life. Overcame homesick and currently enjoying my life here. =D Words from my senior, “Appreciate the leisure time you have in Foundation year, because you’ll yearn for it in Degree.”


Thank you those who missed me and cared for me, love ya’ll and wish ya’ll the best in striving for your goals! Let’s pia together for a better future!! =D


Being a TESL Student


we’re TESL students, all we study is 90% English. What are the subjects? 4 majors and 6 minors, even now, I still don’t know which is my 4 majors. =S

- SSIL (Study Skills)

- TS (Thinking Skills) <3

- SS (Social Studies)

- ES (English Studies) <3

- LDV (Language Development)

- LDS (Language Description)

-EI (Emotional Intelligence) <3 I volunteered to be the subj rep. for this because it’s only for one sem. X)

- B.Maths. The lecturer taught in BM on the first lesson, most of the Non-Muslims were like @o@?? and I struggled hard to translate ‘mutiply’ to ‘darab’ , ‘divide’ to ‘bahagi’ , ‘nombor prima’ to ‘prime number’ and wth is ‘nombor perdana’?? (he taught before, I’ve forgotten ==) OMG, IN BM???? but still, I <3 this subject. =)

- ICT (I don’t like IT, though haven’t came across this subject because the lecturer was absent)

- LS (Learning Support, but not sure what it is. Something like a path for us to seek advice or help in studies and when facing adversities, kinda like a counseling ‘corner’. How considerate. )

- RS (Recreational Sports) It’s only for Foundation students, it’s a program where government sponsor us to go (heard its Pulau Pangkor for our batch)rock climbing, kayak-ing and other adventurous activities! <3 x 29!!

Interesting subjects, but at the same time, challenging. Coursework, assignments, assessments et cetera. GAMBATEH, HUNG JAY FANG!! I will/should/have to/must love the profession. =]


Lonely Snowman